Oh how I know this topic is taboo.
Oh how I have been told time and time again just how freaking great kids are.
Sure, they are cute. Sweet even. At times.
I just don’t want them. Not now. Maybe not ever. Can you hear the silence? This statement instantly will bring up unwanted opinions from complete fucking strangers repeating the same phrase of “kids are great.”
Yeah. I’m sure they are, for you. As for me and my vagina? I’m going to choose the box nobody ever told you was an option and say “Not now and possibly never.”
The gasps. The shock of people seeming offended that you don’t want to reproduce a life form in your body. Oh how dare we?
How dare we choose to live our lives.
How dare we have fun and enjoy our hard-earned money?
I am planning my next vacation for July of 2017. My cousin is getting married in Florida. I turn 30 in May of that year and I told myself I wanted to do Europe.
Cousin getting hitched, going to be on that side of the world already; “Two birds, one stone” anyone? So I was telling this to a friend of mine. He asked me how much I got paid for which my response was; ” I am single, I work a lot and I am single.” Also, this body is a kid free zone.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I do love kids. Just in small doses. I have a dear friend who I’ve known for 20 years. She has two beautiful young girls who I consider to be my nieces. They know me more or less as the person who sends them stuff, but that’s ok. The oldest was three when I moved up here. I don’t expect them to know much about me, besides what their mom tells them.
Now, for me it is kind ofÂ perfect. I get the fun of buying them cute stuff without having the yelling, screaming, public melt downs I see on a daily basis.
Remind you; I work in retail. In a bakery. In a bakery that gives kids free cookies.
This goes out to my generation.
What the hell man? Have you not taught your children manners or proper respect?
I just do not get it. When I was growing up my parents taught me that I address all adults by Mr. Last Name or Mrs. Last Name. Common respect for a child speaking to an adult. Right? Or, how about when two adults are speaking the child waits to talk, rather than speaking over adults.
I do not see this in the majority of young children I see and deal with on a daily basis. It makes me sad and quite frankly makes me not want to have children in a world that has lost respect for adults and not only adults, but people, HUMANS in general.Â What has happened to the old school way? Why did we stop? Why did something so common as holding a door open for a lady, saying please or thank you go out the window?
I see it with young kids and even with older kids, who should just know better. And yet when they say to me “Can I have a cookie?” And I look at them asking “what is the magic word?” They get this light bulb moment on their face and say “please.”Â See, they knew it all along, it just seemed to of dropped off their basic list of manners.
Sigh. My parents did the best they could raising myself and my two older brothers.
My knowledge of Oldies music, manors, and basic human interaction I credit to at least my mom. (Dad died when I was 13.)
Now, I’m not saying I wasÂ a perfect angel child who never, everÂ did any wrong. I know I was an annoying brat. I’m still an annoying adult who likes to speak her mind and challenge authority to some degree. I lack the patience at this time in my life to deal with it. I lack the wanting and the desire. Which is funny because growing up I wanted kids. I had names picked out for them since I was 13.
For a boy I wanted Logan. (Just Logan. I guess I never got around to a middle name.)
For girls I loved Ciara Rose, and also Rebekah Rose. I remember my mom even giving me a hard time for wanting to name my daughter after a mountain. All well.
I’ve lived with kids also. Yep. When we first moved up to Alaska, I lived with a family of five. A toddler, a 7-year-old and a preteen girl. I love those kids. I also love not living with them anymore.
Living with a family was where I really started to question ever wanting my own children. As mentioned, I had my kids names picked out, I wanted to have a girl first; because I am the youngest and I know what it’s like to have older brothers. I even wanted to adopt at least one child at some point. ( And honestly, if I ever decide that I’m not a selfish human being anymore and my body is just a bit past baby making, I still consider adoption an option. That is “if”.)
Though for now, I know ME. I know that I am enjoying this single in every way life. I know that I want to travel first before I commit my life to my child. I want to find the right guy to spend my life with. To travel this world with and maybe one day have children. Maybe not. There is so much I want to do. So much I want to see.
And I see this world. I see how children are being raised. I don’t want that for my kid. And honestly? There is a part of me that is completely 100% scared to death.
But in the end, it comes down to being too selfish. Wanting to see this beautiful planet we call home.
Living in freedom.
This topic is taboo still it seems. I will probably ruffle some feathers and I will probably find people who agree. This is my opinion. I have a right to it. This is also an expression of me knowing myself well enough to know what is right for me and my body/life.
Until next time beautiful people.