November 14, 2016

A reminder of blessings…

With Thanksgiving  just around the corner, and me realizing that my blog posts have been on the heavier side of life; I want to step back and look at how blessed I truly am.

 While there will be times  of darkness on this journey I am taking to heal myself, life also holds a lot of happy. I needed a smack of reality to remind myself that I no longer live in the darkness of my past. While I feel like I need to acknowledge my past to move onto a healthier and brighter future, it seems I have forgotten the many blessings in my life and I don’t want to do that. Let me be a reminder to myself and also to you that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I am living proof of that.

Remember that when life seems hard, or when we don’t have everything that we have ever wanted; stop. Look around you. You do have everything that you need. For the first time in my life I do not need anything. What a blessing that is!!

365 Days

How much can your life change?
365 Days ago I was driving a 1994 Mazda. I smoked a pack a day and I was living with a drunken commercial fisherman. I had been on two short vacations and I worked 48 plus hours a week.
Though I still work over 40 hours a week, in the course of a year I have managed to see new and beautiful things.
I have seen the old and mundane through new eyes. I have fought, I have clawed, I have poured my blood, my sweat and tears into my job and into my life.
In 365 days, 8,760 hours I have turned my life into one I am so proud to call MINE.
I slowly and rather surely am starting to fall in love with myself also with this life that I lead.
The people who skim the surface with me and the people who see the depth of me.
In the last 525,600 minutes of breathing on this beautiful planet I have bought a new truck ,traveled to Hawaii, Oregon, California and…and I have purchased my first home. I also quit smoking cigarettes after 11 years. That is a battle that I fight with daily.  Some days I wonder why I quit smoking. Some days I think I will just go back to it. Then I smell the smoke on someone else and I am reminded of what a disgusting habit it is.
As of today, July 19th 2016 I have been smoke free for 178 days. I have saved $1535.00 and I have added 20 days to my life!
I am currently approaching my second longest quit.
When I still lived in Oregon I had quit smoking cigarettes for 7 months.
Why did I start again you ask? Alcohol.
Yes my friends, booze and thinking I could handle a drag here and a pack there.
Basically I lied to myself.
I remember after a night of drinking with friends ( the couple who I moved up to Alaska with. ) I still had some of my pack left. Good old Camel menthol.
Now the back story to me just saying “fuck it” is as goes.
Before I moved up to Alaska, I was planning on moving back to my hometown of Redding California. I had lived in Oregon for five years. I had grown as a person and I had truly felt like Oregon is where I grew up.
However in my gypsy heart and soul I knew it was time to move on. Five years was long enough for me and the older I was getting the more I figured and realized I needed to become an adult and do something productive with my existence.
I was tired of working minimum wage jobs, never getting ahead in life. “Robbing Peter to pay Paul” as the old saying goes.
So back to my hometown to live with my mom and go back to college. Yes. To adult.
I believe it was the morning after a night out with friends, a few cigarettes left out of the nights pack and a phone call from my mom that ended for good 7 months of being a non smoker.
My mom had called to tell me I wasn’t allowed to live with her, due to a reference from my previous Landlord. This one phone call shot down my plans of California dreaming and college student being.
I said “fuck it” and bought a pack of cigarettes.

It was an excuse. A weak one at that. All my attempts after that lasted a few weeks or so. Always, always going back to the habit I hated so much. My mind reasoning out my addiction.

At my current job I have found more stress. I have questioned WHY I quit. And I have asked a co-worker for a smoke a few times, never taking one. Or sometimes just  flat-out just being told “no.”

I also found the strength to quit because my truck was more important to me than spending $11+ on a pack. My beautiful 2015 Toyota Tacoma.
Yeah buddy. I bought her with less than 30 miles on her sexy engine.

Tomorrow marks a year since I bought her and in that time I have put just under 10 thousand miles on her.
She is my dream truck. Also living in Alaska you need something that can handle the snow. 4 wheel drive baby.

My Truck is the first brand new vehicle I have owned and only my 3rd car.
My first car was my 2001 Honda Civic.
I bought her on the day of my 18th birthday and she saw me through (minus a year when my mom had her) up until I moved to Alaska.

I freaked out when I bought my truck.
Gah..commitment out the ass.
This would mean that I was staying in Alaska. I could leave, however finding a job that would support my hefty truck payment was going to be difficult.
I knew I wanted something reliable before winter hit. I also knew that I  wanted a truck.
I  looked into buying a used truck from Washington, lets just say that, Holy crap balls do trucks hold their value.
In July our local Mendenhall got in about 4 new trucks. I would drive past, day dreaming. I did this a few times. Once I even got out to get a closer look. I was thankful that a sales person didn’t see me. I didn’t need that kind of pressure.
I did another drive by awhile later.
They kept calling my name. I couldn’t help it.
So, I called a dear friend of mine and I asked her questions about her Toyota. This conversation somehow gave my mind permission to take a test drive and ultimately purchase a fully financed truck.
Some days I do regret it. I wish the payments were lower or I had gone with a less expensive vehicle. Though at the end of the day, I love my truck. I am proud of my truck. I am proud that I can afford her.( Another blessing I often forget, is my job.)
I will have her for years/adventures to come, after all she helped me move into my new place.

Just a girl and her truck was the hash tag I used the day I moved my stuff. I know, I know poor me, right? Lord that day sucked. 12 hour day at work, to turn around and move boxes from my little apartment down to my truck that was sitting on the beach.
Yep. Welcome to Alaska. To move anything heavy or big into where I lived you had to deal with tides. Oh, and driving on the rocky beach. Again, thank God for 4 wheel.
And the stairs. Lord the stairs. From the road it was 60 stairs going down.
Have you ever seen the show, “Buying Alaska”?
You know how there are those metal steps and the people who live on the water can have a stupid amount of stairs to go up and down?
Yep. That shit is real. (Also, after 7 months of living there I never did get in better shape.) Anyways, I didn’t have to deal with as many stairs from the beach access, but I did still have to go up and down about 30.
Now, after working a long day I was already tired. Then boom, as if the day couldn’t have gotten any better it started to rain on me. Glory be.

Thankfully I was able to get a friend to help me with the larger items I owned.
I am also glad that I don’t own that much.
Okay, well I didn’t at that point in time.
Now I own a couch and other ‘adult’ furniture.
I don’t think I really need to go into why I wanted to buy a house/condo. Or do I? Really? I mean I guess I can give you some history…..

Being a Home Owner Is The American Dream!!!!!!!!!!!! (You got the sarcasm, yes?)

Juneau while a beautiful place to live is a rather expensive place to live. Rent that would get you a 3 bedroom 2 bath home in the lower 48 gets you a sardine can here. Think of your larger places like The Bay Area, Las Angeles, New York, etc and etc. Your money just doesn’t go as far.
The catch 22 of that is, if I was down south I wouldn’t be making what I do make now. So anyways it made more sense to invest in my future than to invest in someone else’s. Plus, to this single gal, rocking at life is awesome.
I have taught myself that I can travel to far off and near lands on my own.
I have learned that I really do enjoy my own company.
(Walking around Hawaii on my own was probably one of the highlights of my trip.)
Going back to Oregon again and having the chance to see my dear friends restaurant and her.
Seeing my friend Kristy (the one I moved up with.) And her awesome mom.
Teaching myself time and time again, that I have this. This journey hasn’t been easy.
I have cried, I have laughed until I cried. I’ve made mistakes, I also hope I have learned from them.

No, I am not who I was 365 days ago.
Nor am I who I will be 364 days from today. I am growing. I am learning. I am falling in love with myself and my life.
I am trying to change bad habits, while letting down walls.

Just as the tide comes and goes. As the waves crash against the shoreline, shaping the rocks and smoothing them over I am changing.

This is a toast to the next year of my life. Single. I  truly want to be on my own, no boys, no distractions. Just me. Just this life. 365 days.

I invite you to come on this journey with me. It isn’t always easy, there are growing pains, though I know in the end it will all be worth it.

Question of the week-

How has your life changed in the last year? I want to know! Leave me a comment or shoot me an email at

I look forward to hearing from you.

46 Comments on “A reminder of blessings…

November 16, 2016 at 12:22 am

I love you and I’m so proud of everything you have accomplished. I’m so glad you made the move with us. It was hard sometimes but we all got through it and made better lives for ourselves. Keep ur head up always u r worth it

November 16, 2016 at 1:28 am

I love you too! It did come with its moments, both good and bad. But in the end I wouldn’t change it. Love you.

November 17, 2016 at 2:59 am

Hey Jen,
Wow you are looking so grown up now. It’s nice to see (or read) about the changes you have made and your accomplishments. Is Alaska where you plan to stay? I am glad things are working out for you.
TTYL, Heather

November 18, 2016 at 4:50 am

Hey Heather! Long time. Thank you and no, I don’t plan on staying in Alaska.

June 26, 2017 at 5:32 am

Priligy Suomi Ordering Cialis Online Kamagra Kaufen Schweiz

June 30, 2017 at 3:05 pm

Viagra Prezzo Basso generic cialis Amitriptyline Buy In Uk

July 2, 2017 at 9:06 pm

Sinus Infection Cephalexin viagra online pharmacy 795 Gonorrhea Treatment Online

July 8, 2017 at 8:09 pm

Viagra order a prepaid visa cialis Discount Brand Name Viagra

July 9, 2017 at 4:05 pm

Com cialis Viagra Pills For Sale Cheap

July 9, 2017 at 4:07 pm

Cialis Achat Internet Forum viagra cialis Propecia Cipla Pharmacy

July 13, 2017 at 7:02 am

Good post. I learn one thing tougher on totally different blogs everyday. It would at all times be stimulating to read content from other writers and observe a little something from their store. I’d prefer to use some with the content on my weblog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll provide you with a link on your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

buy instagram likes
July 14, 2017 at 12:30 pm

There’s remarkable changes on the structure of the blog, I honestly enjoy that! My own is dealing with where to buy instagram followers and presently there are lots of things to do, I am still a novice in internet site design. Take good care!

July 14, 2017 at 4:19 pm

Cialis Super Kamagra online pharmacy Generico Do Viagra Pfizer

July 15, 2017 at 7:58 am

Erectile Dysfunction buy viagra Healthy Man Viagra Scam

happy birthday wishes
July 15, 2017 at 5:55 pm

Thank you for the fantastic write-up! I truly appreciated finding out about it.I’ll make certain to save your website and definitely will come back later on. I would love to suggest that you keep on with your good job, even comment on birthday thoughts also, have a great afternoon!

July 15, 2017 at 7:32 pm

Viagra 500mg Canada online pharmacy Verkaufe Levitra

visit homepage
July 19, 2017 at 11:13 pm

I really like the things you are up to. This kind of smart effort and reporting! Continue the wonderful work guys, I have included you on my tech support number webpage.

July 20, 2017 at 6:14 am

Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you really know what you’re talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my website =). We could have a link exchange arrangement between us!

July 20, 2017 at 4:09 pm

Dove Acquistare Levitra Sicuro viagra Order now on line isotretinoin medicine fedex shipping

July 20, 2017 at 6:35 pm

Muscoli Propecia In Farmacia cialis Zithromax Safe For Children

Bertha Schoeneman
July 22, 2017 at 7:33 am

I’ll immediately grasp your rss feed as I can not find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please allow me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

July 23, 2017 at 1:16 pm

Suspension Liquid Amoxicillin buy cialis Amoxicillin Combined With Doxycycline

July 25, 2017 at 10:08 pm

Lovely website! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am bookmarking your feeds also.

evening safari
July 26, 2017 at 5:05 pm

To a great many people the entire experience of Dubai desert safari rotates around the courageous wander of ridge bashing where situated in a 4×4 vehicle you appreciate bashing sand rises. This is unquestionably one of the value attempting encounters amid Desert Safari Dubai where you have an astonishing time as well as get the opportunity to get the vibe of the desert without walking around.

desert safari
July 27, 2017 at 8:16 am

Desert Safari Deals You can get plenty of desert safari deals from us which will help you plan your trip without any hassles at all. All you have to do is select the deal that fits your budget from below and we will take care of the rest.

happy days
July 30, 2017 at 8:03 am

I and also my guys were actually reading the best thoughts from your website and so all of a sudden got a horrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the web site owner for them. These boys are already for that reason very interested to read through them and have now honestly been tapping into those things. Appreciate your actually being indeed accommodating and for finding variety of ideal subject areas millions of individuals are really desirous to discover. Our honest regret for not saying thanks to sooner.

desert safari groupon
July 30, 2017 at 3:02 pm

Discover and save on 1000s of great deals at nearby restaurants, spas, things to do, shopping, travel and more. Groupon: Own the Experience.

camel ride dubai
August 3, 2017 at 10:28 am

Dubai Adventures: Best desert Safari – See 12 traveller reviews, 20 candid photos, and great deals for Dubai, United Arab Emirates, at TripAdvisor.

click this site
August 3, 2017 at 11:16 am

Thank you very much for sharing the idea, I bookmarked the webpage. I’m additionally searching for information around shareit apk, have you any idea the place where I could discover a thing like this? I’ll be back in a little while!

facetime on windows
August 3, 2017 at 1:48 pm

I am really intrigued to discover just what site system you are working with? I am experiencing a few small safety problems with my latest website dealing with facetime for windows so I would love to find a thing far more secure. Have any strategies?

you can look here
August 3, 2017 at 4:44 pm

Thank you for writing this, I saved the web page. I’m additionally struggling to find information around vidmate install for mobile, are you aware where I can discover a thing such as this? I will come back in the future!

download kingroot
August 3, 2017 at 5:57 pm

You’re totally right, I would like to learn even more on that topic! I’m also curious about kingroot mobile app since I think it’s quite unique in these days. Keep this up!

August 9, 2017 at 4:09 pm

Buy Levitra In Us Without Prescription online pharmacy Plavix Discount Program

August 9, 2017 at 6:14 pm

you are luckly!

August 11, 2017 at 5:24 am buy naltrexone in the uk

August 11, 2017 at 6:18 pm buy naltrexone powder

August 12, 2017 at 9:25 pm
August 13, 2017 at 3:58 pm

30 day payday loans payday loans bad credit 100 online payday loan [url=]same day payday loans[/url] ’

lace frontal
August 13, 2017 at 4:49 pm

I like THESE UGGS! Indeed We are lace frontal LOVERS! These are typically SO COFY AND . They appear Incredibly hot Having a Dress OR. However Looking at IF IM GONNA Get THE TAN Kinds. HMMMM.

August 13, 2017 at 5:15 pm
August 13, 2017 at 8:06 pm

I also like Flash, however I am not a good designer to design a Flash, except I have software by witch a Flash is automatically produced and no more to work.
Free Erotic Picture Galleries

August 14, 2017 at 6:03 pm

I guess hes PERϜECT at it!? Laughed Larry.

August 15, 2017 at 10:17 am

It’s enormous that you are getting ideas from this article as well as from our argument
made here.

August 15, 2017 at 10:47 am

Mߋmmy and Dadrdy huցged the twins as a гesuⅼt of it was getting time to get too bed.
?Mommy thinks oone of the best factor about Godd is he
gave me thеse twwo ⅼittle rascals and theyre one of the best thing in Mommy?s world.?
She ѕtated cudⅾling and tickling each boys.
Тhat was the type of factor mommies all thhe time ѕay.

Thhe gigցle and һugged Mommy and had been nearly ready to go to thjeir bynk beds when Lee said.

August 15, 2017 at 9:51 pm

Ꮮee and Larry liked thеir sixth birthday party. Regaгdⅼess
that they were twins, Mommy annd Daddу all the time made certain tһeyy each had a particular time.

And with their birthԁays coming іnn December,
Mommy and Dаddy also at all times made ѕure theіr birthays were particular though Chгistmas wwas right across the
corner. The cеlebration was so fun with a cloᴡn and cake and songs and great presents from their asskciates and
grаndparents and unclе and aunts. It glided by soo fast however earlier
than they knw it, everybody had gone house annd it was time to wash up
and preрare for bеd.

August 18, 2017 at 8:16 am

credit card consolidation loan – get payday loan [url=]cash advance online[/url] ’


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *